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Published on December 2, 2008 By jesseledesma In Blogging

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      Today, I have romantic love on the mind.  I am sort of ashamed to say it, but it has been several years since I felt anything romantic for a woman .  I give credit for this because I am very good at taking care of myself.  I can cook, do laundry, buy groceries, and keep my self company.  Therefore, what do I need a woman for in my life. 

     One of my greatest concerns is not bring some else along to suffer with me.  Every day is as struggle.  It is almost as is God said I am going to cause this person as much trouble as possible.  It would be cruel of me to involve any one in this misery.

      However, the concept of romantic love has been poking me in the brain.  I can’t think of politics, economics, or security.  It is almost as if I have to answer a question, I do not have the answer for at all. 

    Let me say I believe in honest, sincere, real love.  It is honest because you tell the truth about what it is you are feeling.  It is sincere because you have no ulterior motives for telling another person you have feelings for them.  It is real because it is the real emotion of love.

     Therefore, what is this thing called love.  Well it is an emotion represented by affection, intimacy, need for, and physiological responses.  Yes that is my story and I sticking to it.

     The problem is that to many mistake an “emotional attachment” with real romantic love.  We all have idealized romantic perceptions.  In life to many people get in to relationships more from a internal drive for companionship and intimacy and not because they are really in love.  An emotional attachment is when you have feelings for a person just because you are used to being around that person.

     The last time I was in love, and I still love this person, it was almost if we had the same soul. It transcended friendship.  It was a very special connection; a bond no two other people shared.

     Before, her was a woman who knew intimacy, but did not know love.  Towards, the end it was bugging me that she couldn’t get that I need her and needed to have a more intimate connection with her.   She used to tell me what some other guy used to do and I wanted to yell at her that he only wanted her for sex and I wanted her love.

     Back then I didn’t have any control over my life and today I have less.  I have tried everything to succeed and have met failure at every turn. This is why I would never tell the women in my life how I felt.  When you do not feel you have control you are not in the mood to plan.

      Therefore, if I was to bring a message to people on love it would be twofold.   The love has to be real love.  Love requires attention and service.  It is more than just living together and paying bills.  It is more than sex.

     Once in my life I was aware of the fact that I would deliberately make some one laugh because her laughter brought joy to my heart.  She had a great sense of humor.  We laughed a lot.   I think she was the only woman I was ever so concerned about never offending.

     When I think about her, I always have good hopes for her.  It would be my great pleasure to know she married well and the people in her life are enjoying her company.  The more she laughs the more her beautiful smile shines and the gladder you are to know her.

      The simplest concept to grasp is love.  However, it remains the hardest commodity to acquire.  The reason being the confusion in man’s head.  Modern man thinks that just having some by their side is love it self.  He or she has a diminished concept of real love.


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