boundaries, emotions, and control
It all starts with us. That is right every relationship starts with us. We may want to make it about other people. However, the reality is that we are the ones who put in emotions and we are the ones that take out emotions.
Therefore, complaining about how your spouse does not make you happy is really irrelevant. We should be complaining about how we do not make our selves happy.
You are right in your perception that there are ugly mean people in the world. Their exsistance however should not effect you joy. There are always going to be ugly mean people in the world.
There is nothing we can do about it.
We should be concentrating on the people we can work with and have healthy relationships with them.
Now a quick lecture about boundaries. Having a close intimate friend does not mean that you have to sleep with them.
Relationships come in various natures. There are close friendships, acquiantences, best friends, brothers, sisters, parents, neighbors, and spouses, to mention a few.
Our goal is to manage each relationship in the apropriate manner, not to look for excuses to excercise our demons. As we grew up, we did acquirre a certain nature. For some of us this nature is complicated with uncontrolable emotions and personaility deficiecies.
Thisi does not make it right. I believe in the rule of health. Everything we do should be with our health in mind.
Stress in relationships is not healthy. Most of it comes from not knowing what to do. Some of it a result of the psychology we acquirred as we were growing up. These are the demons I reffered to earlier.
If we allow ourselve to abuse our relationship partners-regardless of freindship or other-we are not going to keep these partners for too long.
I say thread easy. Take it slow, one step at a time. Also, allow yourself time for evaluation, in order to assess your action in relation to your friend or family member's reaction.
Remember, there is no need for drama. I tend to avoid, drama queens. My goal is to be free of stress. I believe we can be free as long as we know what we want and are prepared to work for it.
I am not interested in changing everyone around me or making everyone like me. The way I see it, the fewer people in my life the less stress I will have in my day.
However, there is a need to fulfill the social need, as long as we maintian our boundaries. I do not want to know intimate details of anyones sex life.
However, these days all people do is talk in sexual inuendo. This I believe is crossing boundaries. Co-workers should have friendly amicable relationships, not a complete picture book about your sexual technique.
Friends can be friends without burdening or taking on each others burdens. Let he or she who can help, help. Most of us, however, have enough of our own responsibilities to be taking on anymore.
What a world we would live in if people were responsible for themselves. Well, not to worry. You can manage your emotoins to were you have positive, rewarding, enjoyable, and healthy relationships.
Don't do to much. Everyone in the relationship should carry their weight in the relationship. Do not use the reationship as a punching bag where you try to work out your frustrations.
Stay with in your boundaries. Sexual satisfaction should come from you Christian spouse, not sexual flirtation with your friends and co-workers.
Co-workers are good for casual conversation. Best friends are good when you need yo bare your soul.
Remeber that the rule with emotions is to know then and put them in their place, not to let them control you.