For a long time I have known that deep inside me is a person who values the beauty of life. This incoporates tradition, decency, peace, tranquility, and a beautiful/romantic vision.
However, everyday I see a world of people who desire to sink deeper and deeper in the muck. Now don't get me wrong. I am not against people.
In fact, I think that all people can have their perfect/ideal life. Well, at least I used to think that. I have for a time known that we are all just pawns on the chest board God and satan play.
Now, I know from previous articles, you are probably wondering if I am really going to talk bad about God.
Well, I actually don't know what I am going to do. However, I do not think it is right to take a person's life and completely make it a mess.
All I have ever wanted was a simple life where I can enjoy myself. However, everything I have tried has been met with interference.
I could write a book on how many times I have Ieft my home with my agenda filled with my resumes and credentials only to be met with flat tires on the car.
Once or twice can make a person laugh. More than two a normal person is bound to think.
I have thoght about it and I have come to the conclusion that I am being held hostage by God. I can't do anything. For two weeks my computer has been operating without any problems, even on the internet.
Yesterday, I was so frustrated that I turned on my computer to search for jobs. It kept freezing up.
The worse thing about it is that I am not even in the mood to be mad or difficult. I don't even want to know why.
I just want to make a living in a way that I am not surrounded by people who are psychotic about out competing each other.
When I am home I can deal with not having any one. It would be nice to share my life with a woman. However, I think all of us have crossed in to a human existance where none of us know how to be real.
The last thing I need is a "gurl" on the war path decalring her womenness or a quiet professor making herself feel good by mentally knocking me down.
I think I have enough problems to deal with.
I am curious to know what comes next. Actually, I have no desire. I do hope that people do not become victims of the war between good and evil.
I would hate to think that any one else is struggling worse than I am.