Day Two of writings: God, the taxi, and I
The life of Mr. Jesus Lopez-Ledesma: day two of writings.
Ok. Therefore, what is on my mind today? Well, it really does not matter cause I plan to dedicate my entry today to God.
The reason is that I do not believe you can live my 41 year old life and not learn a thing or two about how life functions.
What have I learned? Well I have concluded that no matter how hard you work life will always be against you.
This last statement scares me. I am afraid of the reproach from God. How can I say God is real and that I believe in Jesus Christ and have such a poor attitude about life?
The reality is that I keep myself going by telling myself that life sucks and I just have to do what is necessary to survive. That is why I go to work in the taxi and do not take breaks though I am completely exhausted.
With a heavy wound in my heart I would like to ask God what, did I do that I should be treated so badly?
When I wanted something, I wanted psychology. When it was obvious that was not going to work, I consoled myself with at least if I can pay the bills and have a peaceful life I will be okay.
However, not even this I can have. Every day life gets worst. Today, I was able to find a glimmer of hope. However, I know there is something in shadows getting ready to rear its ugly head.
Last year right before Christmas business was slow and all I was doing was going to work. Every day I was exhausted and with a high sense that, some thing bad was going to happen.
Let me tell you that even though I am a cab driver I run my business as honest as I can. While I was getting depressed living in petrified fear of gloom and doom I would tell my self, “ I don’t do anything bad. I charge what I am suppose to and I follow the rules.”
However, regardless of how careful I was I had run in with one of the taxi inspectors. This resulted because he was influenced by the rumors of the other cab drivers.
Let me tell you that I call these people savage pigs. They do not come to work. They come to cause as much as harm as possible.
The nine years I have in the taxi business I have been at war with them. They think they can do anything the want.
They over charge. They refuse service. They are always taking the trips from behind the line. In addition, if you tell them anything they turn into savage animals that want to devour you with their fangs.
The worst part is that the so-called taxi inspectors and police do not give a hoot. They let them do what they want.
I find it offensive as a taxpayer that I pay taxes for Taxi inspectors to cruise around smoking and drinking and eating in public property.
Now I actually hate this so called public servants. I consider them worst then taxi drivers. When you are raised with little morals, it is understandable that you behave like an animal. I used to think taxi inspectors in the city of El Paso, Texas were from good homes.
Well all I can say is that if you traveling through ugly, disgusting, and worthless El Paso, Texas and find your self in the area of the port of entry from Juarez Chihuahua Mexico to EL Paso, Texas USA avoid the taking a taxi from the taxi stand at 6th street and El Paso. Those criminals will rob you blind.
You can look for me; Jesse in the gold and black Sun City Cab car #337.
Now, for the theme. How does God factor in all this turmoil? I hate my life and I cannot believe that I am so bad that God would condemn me to this reality.
I honestly do not know what God wants or how to live my life in peace. This struggle has killed my passion, my love, thirst, and hunger.
In conclusion, I hope to find some semblance of a person after this writing exercise. Right now, however, I am just dead.