I used to tressure life. All the rules that contribute to a polite society and heathy life impressed me greatly. Now all I see is us behaving like violent brats.
This concnerns me. I know that our current behaviors are only going to lead to destruction. However, since I no longer have a God to pray to I do not know what to do.
Internally, I still want to see something pure and decent in life. All of us have to be doing really bad if the degree of evil is so high.
One thing I can tell you is that I know God to be real. My discontent with Him does not contribute to me discounting his existance.
Moreover, this week I had one of my all time spiritual questions answered. I had always wondered what happened to people that did not follow God's instructions.
This week I found out that those that do no accept Jesus Christ will go to hell. When Jesus Christ comes again, one of the things he will do is to cast satan, his servants, and the souls in hell into the lake of fire for eternity.
I thought I was going to be able to finish of this miserable life in death and that would be the end of it. However, because I know God to be true and willing accept Jesus Christ as my savior I will have to meet Christ in heaven and answer for my disobedience.
I do not think it is wrong to want to work. I see work as healthy. However, I am asked to place my total trust in Christ.
I interpret this as staying home and waiting for Christ to provide. I did that once and I was without electricity for three months. That is how long it took to save enough to get it reconnected.
I wish I knew what they wanted. It is getting harder to keep fighting when everything turns in to a battle. I cannot even say any more that I have any desires or wants.
In addition, I am sad for the world. I know people do not want to be living a tortured experience. The thought that it has more to do with the level of evil in the world than people's true nature leaves me unsettled.
Last night I told God agian that I thought it is wrong to condem people when they are not truely aware of what is going on.
The last 30 years have been hard on people's psyche. To many liberties and to many things have happened.
Where are the people that were suppose to give us a fair sense of how the world works?
Where are the people who through been good people and treating us nice could of contributed to our sense of security and well being?
Why is it that today after being victims of a disfunctional world we have to pay with our sanity and our peace and tranquility?
If we have done everything to offend God how do we get back to when we loved and admired Him?
Or is our insolence the factor contributing to a permanent separation from God?