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a little simple marriage advice
Published on June 7, 2004 By jesseledesma In Personal Relationships
Before people marry and share physical intimacy, they should have a true understanding of the other person.

People want to be cared for. They also want attention. Romance is also expected.

This requires more than just going through the motions. It requires knowing who the person you are sharing your life with is in totality.

You have to know what makes them laugh, feel joy, happiness, pleasure, and satisfaction.

Any one can hook up and/or marry. However, staying with the person requires making a pleasant enjoyable life where there is recreation, adventure, travel, affection, love, humor, a connection, and interest.

Remember, the days when you used to fantasize about what you would do when you would marry the right person.

If you are like me, your daydreams involved a good diner, enjoyable conversation, and some romantic dancing.

Of course, in reality, most people can get away with good conversation. However, to many people stop talking to each other the minute after they move in together.

Now, women reading this may say “AHA” I knew my man has a problem with communication.

Well, don’t start shredding confetti just yet ladies. No one should be forced to talk about what they don’t want to talk about.

Conversation is a two way street and both people should be permitted to drive. Of course, when it is a person time at the wheel that person should take the other people in the car to interesting locations.

This means have fun stuff to talk about, not work. Developing a sense humor wouldn’t hurt.

In addition, try words of affection, like I love You, You make me Happy, and I am Glad you are in my life.

See when you have another person in your life you are responsible for their well-being and happiness.

You have to be there when they need comforting. You have to let them comfort you when you need it.

You have to be their entertainment and recreation. You have to honor them with your respect and kindness.

You have to shower them with hugs and kisses. You have to let them into your world. You have to be willing to build a new world with them.

A friend once asked me what I thought the secret of a good marriage was. I responded “the patience and tolerance to accept them for the person they are”.

I think I am going to change it to “ dedicate yourself to your spouse and live to give them a great life”.

Comments
on Jun 07, 2004
when you have another person in your life you are responsible for their well-being and happiness.


A very nice article and I agree with everything except this one statement. I see a lot of people fall into that trap, expecting someone else to be responsible for making them happy. We are each responsible for our own happiness and it's unfair to expect someone else to make you happy.

We can do what we can to provide a happy home and relationship, but it is impossible to "make someone happy" or "provide happiness" for someone else.

I felt I had to take exception to that statement because I see that as a major problem in a lot of relationships today. "They just don't make me happy".

Otherwise, it's a very nice article. I enjoyed it.
on Jun 08, 2004
See when you have another person in your life you are responsible for their well-being and happiness.


ACK! I was enjoying the article and agreeing with you right up to this point. No one is responsible for anyone's happiness but their own. If you are looking to someone else to make you happy, then you're going to spend your entire life UNhappy. If you aren't happy on your own, you'll never find true happiness.