Be strong and stand up for your self
Today’s lecture is on emotional manipulation. How many times have you experienced or seen a person get sad and disappointed when they didn’t get their way. Of those times how many times have you seen some one or may be even you give in to the person because of their emotional displays.
Well more often than not even though people do not want to give in to a person they will give in if the person makes the right emotional displays.
Now in all relationships there needs to be compromise. However, I am really talking to people who are on the verge of starting a relationship with a person who is emotionally manipulative.
The emotions I am talking about here are sadness and disappointment, not anger.
This can displayed in if you love me you will sleep with me, I don’t blame you for not sleeping with me I am not attractive, or its ok that you don’t love me when I love you, for example.
The jest is that people do not get what they want, perform like they are sad and disappointed in order that your sympathy will lead you to give them what they want.
Many relationships have started like this. You may be starting or may be in a relationship that started like this.
A romantic relationship is an opportunity to enjoy pleasure, joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, love, and happiness. In my mind there needs to be honest communication about what each person expects from the relationship and mutual activity.
A relationship requires dancing, nights out, walks, talks, vacations, health, loving, and many more recreation and entertainment.
In addition, both people need to be involved. In our real world, however, we know more about working than building a family life.
I have two terms that I hope reflect our present human experience. One is operational functionalism. The other is personal functionalism. Operational functionalism is knowing how to go through the operations of life like waking up and getting to work, and doing our jobs. Personal functionalism is meeting our basic human needs.
Ironically, I have recently had the revelation of spiritual functionalism. This condition comes from the collective acts that contribute to a quality relationship with God. The God I speak here is the God of Moses and Abraham and who so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son to the world so whoever believes in him will have everlasting life and not perish.
You may have a different spiritual viewpoint. Well remember that for one to truly know one must study. Therefore, do not be like everyone who thinks they know who God is just because they have organized their own thoughts on the issue.
I say that perspectives on God need to be objective and formed on the facts, not our own opinions.
Now to dealing with not being a victim of another person’s emotional manipulation. People who know who they really are not easily manipulated.
I would say to make a practice out of being focused on your life. This requires goals and knowledge of why your goals are important.
Your personal goals are important because they will lead to a life free of conflict, joy, happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, and more good stuff.
We have to be strong and recognize that we are not responsible for every ones happiness. In addition, we have the right to have the life we want.
Doing things you don’t want to will lead to resentment and frustration, not to mention depression.
Noting is worse than being in a relationship you don’t want to be in or making love to a person that does not excite you.
When you enter in to a relationship for the wrong reasons there is the possibility that you will not give your partner the healthy and positive attention they deserve and not work at having our needs fulfilled.
Some of us don’t even recognize how much we are suppose to take out of life. Life has taught us to be creatures of habit. We do what we have always done.
I think divorce is so high is because once we are married we forget how to live. A good marriage should arrange life around the marriage, not arrange the marriage around life.
Don’t put your needs on hold because of work, soccer practice, grocery shopping, visits to the bank, and other daily routine.
Instead, organize your life around your needs. It is not hard to make sure your love and intimacy needs are met before everything else.
Now a day there is direct deposit for paychecks and many grocery stores are open 24 hours a day.
I have found that doing a load of laundry a day keeps it from piling up.
See, so it should not be hard to make sure your daily life does not interfere with your personal needs being met.
Men be more cooperative. Women be more understanding. In addition, both members of the relationship should eat right, sleep right, and meditate on a healthy positive attitude.
Furthermore, be realistic about where you find your self. You are in a relationship with another person who needs to be held, touched, noticed, acknowledged, loved, validated, cared for, pleased, and have all other healthy needs met.