Today, I plan to write about something very serious.  For some time I have been concerned about PTSD as it relats to the soldiers who have experienced combat.  Here in El Paso, Texas there has been several incident of young soldiers loosing their lives in car accidents.  Alcohol and high speed appears to be involved in some of the accidents.  Sometimes people who are suffering try to medicate the pain substances and dangerous behaviors.

To start the conversation I will state that I believe that much of current mental anguish is related to prolonged exposure to the trauma of life.  It would be great if live worked out fine.  However, for many life is an ever ending stuggle that scares many greatly.  The fear is that something is going to go very wrong.

I would suggest that soldiers PTSD has to do with with several reasons.  First there is comfronting death in a manner that the fright is to much to handle.  Second, guilt from intense emotions.  This guilt comes from the person feeling they are loosing control.  Then there is the fear of not being able to meet the challenge.  In other, words "fear of failure" so intense that the person is greatly of afraid of failure, because it means death.

Let me tell you my worse day.  My ex-wife enjoyed torturing me in every possible way.  When I had reached my limit and could no longer deal with the pain she was close to death in a Mexican hospital.  I hated her for how she treated me but I did not want to loose her or the kid.  In addition, the hospital would not operate if we did not pay then in full before the operation.

I was completely devastated.  On top of all of the pain from her abuse, I had to find the money, deal with all the family, and try not to fall apart.  The worse thing I have ever gone through.  Talk about being alone, at your limit, and having to be strong for everyone else.

I tell you this just to show you I have been there.  In my life I have thought about suicide and attempted suicide.  Let me tell you that is no answer.

What has helped me is putting things in perspective.  This woman is no longer in my life.  Therefore, the major source of my stress is no longer around.  I would suggest to those going through great pain to be real about the source of the pain.

The fear in us is created by us.  Look around and tell me you are in front of any thing that can harm you.  Only you can harm you. And Why?  Are you going to do your self harm because you cannot deal with pain that comes from your internal fear.

Soldier you are home now.  Give your self a break. Your are not bad.  Nothing is going to happen to you. See, hidding from our emotions is not good.  I know my society also told me to "suck it up".  However, intense pain can only go away if you admit you are hurting.  At the time you accept this pain it feels like the pain is going to consume you.  "How can anyone person hurt so much", is sometimes a thought that echos in a person's mind.

Let me tell you it won't consume you.  If you invest in your self, you can return to the regular old Joe you used to be.  Moreover, before you say "easy for you to say", let me tell I am living proof that intense emtional pain can be overcome.

I get by, by understanding my cycle.  I am aware of when I am angry, depressed, and/or at my limit.  I also give my self a break.  I do have major depression.  I can admit it and manage my energy levels.  After awhile of putting things in perspective the pain remains but it does not consume me.

Soldier, you have served your country well.  I love you.  I have been greatly concenrned about you.  I think it is sad that after having being to hell and back, you may loose your life in the comfort of your home.

You are home.  Safe and sound. You made it.  Many people care about you and want you to have a good life.  We need you to help your self.  The only way you can be harmed is if you harm your self. 

I know that in the heat of PTSD the pain is so intense that people believe no one can understand.  However, you have to buy in to the therapy.  This means you have to sort out your emotions and be real about your limits.

I can tell you that it is only a temporary condition.  It is temporary because at any giving momment you can decide to start taking care of your self.  You are valueable and worthy of a great life.  I myself have great solidarity with you because I know what it is to have great suffering.

In this solidarity, I ask you to take care of your self.  Life is great.  Lots of good stuff still to see.  It however, is not productive to beat your self up with negative internal speech.  You are just a person with a challenge.  Sometines we try and fail.  Sometimes we get to the finish line.

Now, what have I discussed.  Well first the fear is only in our heads.  Second that pain we believe is going to consume us can only consume us if we decide to quit.  Third, there is no need to be our own worst enemy by beating our selves up with negative internal speech.  Fourth, we have to be realistic.  There is no sense in creating problems were there are no problems.

I am not kidding when I say I love you.  During these military conflicts in Afganistan and Iraq, I have been very attentive about the soldiers life.  Let me add here that any one going through great suffering can use the principles  I have talked about here to help them selves.

There is no reason for people to be suffering.  We have what it takes to make a positive change in our lives.  My ex-wife did not die.  The baby inplanted in her tube did die.  Every March 25 I honor that child with a special meal and time to reflect.

I am glad I am able to organize my thoughts and manage my moods.  In addition, if I have to I will beg you to not harm your self.  I believe the war in Iraq was necessary.  Several days ago I heard Doug Stephen on his radio show rant about how because of government actions many have had to suffer needlessly.  Mr. Stephen also said in a very crude and crass tone that Bush sent soldiers to Iraq for no one.

Well Mr. Stephen I asked Mr. Bush to send troops in to Iraq.  I supported Bush's actions then.  I support his actions today.  To me Mr. Hussien was a real, viable, and dangerous threat to America.  I have mormed the lives lost on 9/11.  In addition, even though I am nothing but a simple cab driver I will do everything in my power so no other American loose his or her life to a terrorist on American soil.

OK I will leave the politics behind.  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in any one is a serious issue.  I have been there and can tell you with time, patience, care, love, hope, faith, and temperance any one can have a peaceful life free of pain.

With all my love, I want you to make it.  You deserve it and more. The first hug is the one you give your self.