opinion pages and articles on the beauty of life: friendship, family, love, romance, marriage, parenting, etc...
I say "yes"
Published on April 25, 2008 By jesseledesma In Life

Today's point of meditation is "can we avoid building a terrible life"?  I guess a first place to start is define "terrible life".  I would say a life where a person is suffering to the extent were he or she cannot be at peace no matter what he or she does in life in a "terrible life".

I have already written about being more realistic about our lives.  In past articles I have stated that a certain degree of satisfaction and fulfillment comes from being grateful for what we have in our lives.  I have also written on how a lot of human suffering has to do with being raised in a "dreamer society" were we think we are owed our dreams.

Two days ago I spoke to a person who identifies himself as a person who abuses drugs, has been in prison where he was raped, and who is looking for answers.  I told him not even Jesus is going to snap his fingers and make his life a beautiful dream. 

Since I have known this person, he has appeared to me a person who likes the life of drugs and crime.  First time I met him he was obviously trolling for drugs to sell and use.  Two days ago, he told me he had been "drugging" himself for the last three days.  He even showed me the "needle sticks".  I think I counted about 6 points.

Now on the issue of Faith and Life I could of done more.  However, this person is just going through the motions.  Drug users like to think they are superman.  Half of their "trip" comes from feeling like they are more powerful then other people.

I told this person the same thing I told the person who told me he had just killed his girlfriend on their way down here on a motorcycle.  The past is the past and we can not change it.  All we can do is look at our present and deal with our challenges as they present themselves.  I added to the drug dealer that he could stop using drugs, get a job, start making money, deal with his family, and live an ordinary day to day life.

These suggestions did not appeal to this person.  I left him near and underpass, where I am sure he went to go hide under so he could inject himself with some more "dope".

Okay!  Why do I mention this?  Well when we are being tortured by life we tend to find or search for things that we think will end the pain. 

In addition, the reality is that many parents are responsible for the "torturous life" their children are living as adults.  Parents are the ones who should teach children how to manage all the challenges life can throw at a person.  Many parents spend their time scolding and yelling instead of teaching valuable 'life lessons".  Hence, the "torturous life" you are living has to do with the angst acquired during your developmental years from not receiving good guidance from you parents.

Okay, so in the interest of a psychological tactic I will no identify the "what" and the "why".  In a discussion, a while ago I heard a person divide human behavior into "'the what", "the how", and the "why".  "The what" is the behavior we all can see, i.e. drug abuse.  "The how" is all the contributing elements that contributed to the observable behavior.  For example parents not interacting with their children resulting in a unrealistic view of life, which in turn contributes to a person not being able to get a life that appeals to him or her.

Now, "the why" is not that easy to define.  We can look at the interactions of neurotransmitters in the brain.  Learning bad behaviors after prolonged practice is also a possible reason "why" environmental elements influence behavior.  An adaptive response to psychological trauma is also possible.

In the study of human psychology every single one of the theories mentioned before is valid.  I will go a different way.  I think that regardless of religion people are spiritual in nature.  They may not believe in God, but they are trying to accomplish a life's goal that is intertwined with their heart and soul.  Here's were the "my dreams matter and should be given to me" attitude in many of us come in to play.

Yes dreams matter.  Dreams are what fuel human forward progress with hope.  We were never meant to stay still.  We as humans enjoy change.  Why are people disgusted with their lives?  Well I would offer that it may because they are not looking forward to life because they are no longer thinking about the "hope in dreams".

However, having said that I must speak the truth.  I have studied psychology formally at Liberty university and Southern California University for Professional studies.  In addition, I have always been a spiritual person.  From early in life I can remember talking to God.  In 2000, is when I had my personal encounter with Jesus Christ.  Therefore I have seen all sides to the debate of "God and man".

My intent here is not to convert.  The question is "is it possible to avoid a difficult life"?  I would say yes.  We must understand that a lot of difficult emotions come from our early interaction with our parents.  These emotions are not permanent.  We are in charge and in control of our thoughts.

Therefore, the beginning in avoiding a bad life is to check our nature.  If we are people of hate, depression, and any other overly exercised emotions we just have to admit it and admit what type of person we would rather be in life.  We can choose to be angry or we can choose to be nice.

The second step is to understand everything life is made of and be actively involved in pursuing a full life.  I do not know how many times I am going to type "life is about family, friends, accomplishment, achievement, recreation, purpose, and much more".

Now, the third step which really should be the first is settle your relationship with God.  He is the reason anything and everything is.  From my formal studies in psychology, my life, and my personal encounter with Jesus I can tell you that no matter what you do in life if you do not recognize the authority of God you will never find true fulfillment.

The drug addict, I told God loves you, is actively working for you, but He needs you to accept his guidance. We all want what we believe is our lives.  However, God is in charge.  Now, if your true quest is peace, then you stop fighting the Prince of Peace.

I know many will not.  There is something about the human species that wants to be his own god.  In this modern world many of us believe that we know all we need to know to manage our own lives.

Okay! Here is another one of my questions "If your philosophy of life, is so great why isn't life your life great?"  Settle down.  I am not judging, condemning, or persecuting.

I come here to add to the "common discussion".  There is no reason for any one not to have the life they want.  We just have to be willing to keep a healthy perspective and work at meeting the challenges in life.

ALEGRIA MALL


Comments
No one has commented on this article. Be the first!